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Skepticism and fear are typical reactions to technology that changes how people connect.My colleague Derek Thompson, who interviewed Wolfe at the Washington Ideas Forum, brought up a 1909 song by Irving Berlin, warning women against dating men who own cars.They have found profound relief in naming those fears and redirecting them into a more positive internal narrative.If you’ve experienced these fears as well, rest assured that they are just fears and not a prediction of the future for you.The internet has become a resource for many folks to use in search of dates and long-term companionship. The truth is that you will find the same sort of people looking for dates on the internet as you will find anywhere else. The key is to keep early meetings in public locations, keeping access to your own transportation, and making sure that a trusted friend or relative knows where you are meeting, until you know someone well enough to feel secure. ” Yes, it happens, but it can happen with that person that you meet at your favorite beachfront bistro, as well. Some people are afraid that only losers and criminals and other really desperate types of folks are looking for companionship online.
Whitney Wolfe, the founder of the dating app Bumble, said she thinks some companies were promoting that message themselves, through the way they marketed.“In the last decade, [dating sites] marketed to the desperate, to people who were lonely and hopeless,” she said on Wednesday at the Washington Ideas Forum, an event produced by The Aspen Institute and internet.) Later, in the same commercial, a woman says, “I don’t think anybody, no matter how old they are, should ever give up.” Evoking skepticism and giving up may not be the best way to make people excited for a dating service.Still, some find that they fear online dating because it puts too much personal information out there for strangers, or that it otherwise sets them up to meet unpleasant or unappealing matches.The truth is, though, that online dating is as safe and enjoyable as any other form of dating, as long as you pick the right site, put some effort into meeting the right matches, and practice safety when meeting in person for the first time.I learned the wrong lessons; when you get hurt, it’s best to stay safe and guard your heart. Guarding my heart kept me from fully experiencing the joy of a loving partnership, from choosing a man with whom I’d experience the full gamut of love’s emotions; the ups, the downs, the pain and the absolute joy of true love.◊♦◊Is fear keeping you from love?If you’d like to overcome your fears, I have a wonderful low-cost mini course about how to overcome fears in dating and relationships.